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Aardvark Fact #1.

The aardvark eats ants. But the Aardvark is not the same as an Anteater. The aardvark constantly has to explain this difference, whenever it finds itself at a cocktail party.

Aardvark Fact #2.

Aardvarks are also known as African Ant Bears. Because their natural habitats are not in Spain, which is a European country.

Aardvark Fact #3.

The aardvark is not the same as a bear. It never finds the need to explain this at parties.

Aardvark Fact #4.

The aardvark is a nocturnal mammal. Aardvark emerges from its burrow in the late afternoon or shortly after sunset. Some scientists have speculated, that aardvarks are a subspecies of software developer. This hypothesis remains to be tested.

Aardvark Fact #5.

In some African tribes, it is believed to render the wearer invisible, if a charm made from bits of aardvark is worn.

Aardvark Fact #6.

There are no official records that show how many aardvarks that are currently employed by Google.

Aardvark Fact #7.

The aardvark resembles many different creatures. It has ears like a rabbit, tail like a kangaroo, webbed feet like a duck, except with claws like God knows what, and a snout like a pig, except on the end of a long trunky-type thing.

 

Ethel

 

This proves there quite obviously must be an Intelligent Designer. Surely an animal as magnificently awesome as this could not possibly evolved by pure chance. This would be like saying, that if a Young Earth Creationist farted at a blind watchmaker in a junkyard, the result would be a Boeing 747 full of Ben Carson supporters. It is hard to conceive of any notion quite so ridiculous.

Aardvark Fact #8.

Aardvarks are eaten by lions, leopards, hyenas, pythons and humans who eat aardvarks.

Aardvark Fact #9.

The aardvark is the only living species of the order Tubulidentata, which is Latin for ”Tubby Tube with Teeth”.

Aardvark Fact #10.

Aardvarks are not found in Madagascar.

Aardvark Fact #11.

Squirrels take down more powergrids than aardvarks. US power outages, as of January 2016, caused by squirrels: 623. US power outages caused by aardvarks: Nill.

Aardvark Fact #12.

The scientific name of the aardvark is Orycteropus afer. This is Latin for something too.

Aardvark Fact #13.

The Finnish word for Aardvark is not Isomuuhrahaiskarhu.

Aardvark Fact #14.

It's actually Maasika. But muuhrahaiskarhu sounds like either a blackmetal band or something you might find in Ikea. Which is Swedish, but Swedes have less amusing wörds för ant-eating animals with fünny snöuts.

Aardvark Fact #15.

You will not find many aardvarks in Ikea.

Aardvark Fact #16.

When the aardvark is digging for ants it avoids inhaling the dust by sealing its nostrils.

Aardvark Fact #17.

But sometimes the Aardvark will inhale food through its nose.

Aardvark Fact #18.

The Danish word for aardvark is Jordsvin. In Africaans aardvarks are called Erdvark. Both literally mean "earth pig". The aardvark does not like this comparison. It has no relation to pigs, and secondly, Aardvark does not like the idea that anyone should consider making bacon out of it.

Aardvark Fact #29.

Aardvark-bacon does not taste like chicken.

Aardvark Fact #20.

Aardvark feeds almost exclusively on ants and termites and can eat up to 500.000 termites in one sitting. Or standing. Do Aardvarks sit when they eat? Probably not.

Aardvark Fact #21.

The only fruit eaten by aardvarks is the aardvark cucumber.

Aardvark Fact #22.

Aardvarks can dig a yard of tunnel in about five minutes. Several aardvarks, including Ethel the Ardvark, were tunnel-consultants on The Great Escape.

Aardvark Fact #23.

The aardvark is known to be a good swimmer and has been witnessed successfully swimming in strong currents. Some studies have shown that Aardvarks may traverse as far as 30 kilometres on nightly foraging rounds. This means that some aardvarks could be training for triathlons.

 

 

Aardvark Fact #24.

You can teach an aardvark to play the guitar.

Aardvark Fact #25.

But you can't make it play Basket Case.

Aardvark Fact #26.

The head of the Egyptian god Set looks like an aardvark.

Aardvark Fact #27.

Aardvarks did not build the giant pyramids of Giza.

Aardvark Fact #28.

The aardvark makes a bleating sound if you frighten it.

Aardvark Fact #29.

But aardvarks are not afraid of cucumbers.

 

 

Aardvark Fact #29.

Cucumis humifructus is also known as the aardvark pumpkin, and really looks more like a mellon.

Aardvark Fact #31.

The cucumber and the aardvark have a symbiotic relationship. As the aardvark eats the subterranean fruit, then defecate the seeds near its burrows, which then grow rapidly due to the loose soil and fertile nature of the area. The time spent in the intestine of the aardvark helps the fertility of the seed, and the fruit provides needed moisture for the aardvark.

Aardvark Fact #32.

If you invite an Aardvark for dinner, you should avoid serving red ants or African driver ants.

Aardvark Fact #33.

The aardvark has a really long tongue.

Aardvark Fact #34.

Aardvarks are not natural born wind-surfers.

Aardvark Fact #35.

The aardvark changes the layout of its home burrow regularly, it likes to have more than one entrance and periodically moves on and makes a new one. When an aardvark changes its location, their burrows provide shelter for many other species during wildfire season.

Aardvark Fact #36.

Aardvark is the first word in the English dictionary.

Aardvark Fact #37.

The closest living relative to the Aardvark is probably the African elephant.

Aardvark Fact #38.

Aardvarks like to rome about at night.

Aardvark Fact #39.

There are not many obvious puns on the word aardvark.

Aardvark Fact #40.

Hardly any aardvarks are named Gino.

 

Hooray!

 

Aardvark Fact #41.

If someone dedicates an entire page on Teh Interwebs to Awesome Aardvark-facts it's probably because it's your Birthday :)

 

HOORAY!

 

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